P.S. I can't hear my feet
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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