found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
