Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
