needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
