Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
