ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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