it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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