Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
