I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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