had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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