It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
