dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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