Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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