Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
not ubering you a puppy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
