I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
