Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
