When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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