idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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