Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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