when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
