i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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