he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
