i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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