Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
