what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
