Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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