Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
