My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize