To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
