my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
