I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
