dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have feelings that need drinking.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize