do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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