my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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