I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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