She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
