Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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