Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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