Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
