you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
