Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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