And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
