i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
