At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I sprained my soul last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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