I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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