I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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