idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
