i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
