I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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