i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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