physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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