is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
