honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
