woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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