He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And then my night got REAL pukey
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
