Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
