she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
