Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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