Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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