That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this will be a night to untag.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
