Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Pants are for mortals
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
