Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
